From an email, author unknown, copyright whoever wrote it:
Corporate Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The
wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs
downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you #800
to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the
woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of
Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her #800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband
asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about
the £800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information
pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders
in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.
Corporate Lesson 2
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling
the car, he stealthily slid his hand down to her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he
let his hand slide down to her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized ! "Sorry sister but the flesh is
weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On
his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look
up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up
you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in
your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Corporate Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager
are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil
lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie
says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the administration clerk.
"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next! !" says the sales rep. "I want to be
in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal
masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the
love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The
manager says, "I want those two back in the office
after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the
first say.
Corporate Lesson 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat
on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very high up.
Corporate Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be
able to get to the top of that tree," the turkey
sighed, but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied
the bull." They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it
gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of
the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung,
he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth
night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the
tree.
He was soon spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of
the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top,
but it won't keep you there.
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